This 2nd semester of my year1 in poly has been a complete disaster. Thinking back to semester 1, I thought this semester can only get better. But hell noooooo... Everything is just starting to take its toll on me and I don't know how am I gonna finish my year 2 and 3.
The kind of person I am is, I can't do something I have no interest in. And doing BIT has been probably the worse decision I had made in my life. To anyone intending on coming to BIT and ain't an IT savvy kinda person, the only thing I wanna tell you is "Welcome to hell." Sigh I never knew I would come to this. I thought I would make it to VJC as I only need a 15 and didn't planned a back up. Hastily chose BIT and now I'm in real shit.
I knew I was never a very good student in school, and I've never been that since I was in primary school. But I never knew I would come to the point, which is now, where I just don't wanna do anything about what I'm doing. The only reason I'm up early and getting my ass to school is because of attendance. Nowadays, school is more of like, I turn up in school and I just wait for it to be over. I'm not motivated in class whatsoever. I totally understand that people around me is saying things like "come on, just bear with it". I say that to myself all day, but....urghhhh I just don't know how to tell you guys about how I'm feeling.
Results are a messed. I have one module to catch up with my schoolmates with as I failed my POA module last semester and its really shit to have to retake a module I guarantee you. And with this semester coming to an end and exams looming, I would predict I would fail another 3. And if I really do, I would definitely want to leave school, cos I'm so sick of this already and I'm at the edge. I just wanna quit. With all this said, I feel awfully sad for my parents who always gave me the best I ever could have.
Throughout my schooling years, I've never felt bad about myself and my results. I knew I wasn't academically incline but I always felt I was better than many people around me in other aspects.
I'm just very afraid of a disappointed look on my parents again.
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